Category Archives: Struggling

These days sometimes go on for days

for a brief minute the light from the 23rd street was part of the tracks, the tracks were full of flowing light and for a wonderful few seconds I had forgotten about the subway (almost) the always being aware of … Continue reading

Posted in Struggling | 3 Comments

Tunnel-inappropriate vehicle

“When you suffer an attack of nerves you’re being attacked by the nervous system. What chance has a man got against a system?” – Russell Hoban, The Lion of Boaz-Jachin and Jachin-Boaz (1973) I was very nervous on Thursday. I … Continue reading

Posted in books, Poetry, Struggling | 4 Comments

Keep human!

Take it easy, but take it. – Woody Guthrie Some things from the week. Armoured and alarmed my CV. Looked for a job. Made some “calls”. Disarmed my CV. Fell over onto some stupid rocks, twisted my ankle. Thought about the … Continue reading

Posted in bicycles, Happiness or not, Struggling | 2 Comments

Cut your legs off at the ankles

‘It’s a weird world out there on the flats,’ Patrick said. ‘Nothing looks the same as normal. Gulls can seem as big as eagles. Scale and distance change. It’s very easy to lose your bearings, especially at dusk or dark. … Continue reading

Posted in bicycles, London, Struggling | 7 Comments

No legs

I need a hundred more of you to make a likelihood. The mirror’s not convincing – that at-best in- ferred person. As time’s revealing gets revolting, I start looking out. Look in and what you see is one unholy blurred … Continue reading

Posted in Poetry, Struggling | 3 Comments

London’s hair is burning

Hair is dead cells. When it’s on you, we all want to touch it, but as soon as it’s off you, in your bed or your shower, it’s suddenly, oooh, horrible. So hair’s a really weird thing. But I think … Continue reading

Posted in Happiness or not, London, Struggling, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I guess there was a sense of inevitability about it

Astronomers are greatly disappointed when, having traveled halfway around the world to see an eclipse, clouds prevent a sight of it; and yet a sense of relief accompanies the disappointment. Simon Newcomb Jean-François Martin, Le Monde des livres (‘The world of … Continue reading

Posted in Happiness or not, Struggling, Uncategorized, Working | 17 Comments

Signs of winter: the ghost recumbent

I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, And in short, I was afraid. T. S. Eliot, ‘The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock’ Bu bu!? by Simone Rea Fur-lined Russian hats (Ushankas, or “ear hats”) begin to appear … Continue reading

Posted in bicycles, London, Struggling | Leave a comment

A pride of bicycles: Part V

Rachel Bone i. The most prevalent road-rage gesture I see in London is the one I call the Seinfeld. It’s exactly the kind of gesture Jerry would make when saying: “What IS thaaaat?” It’s exasperation, outrage, bafflement. It’s almost an … Continue reading

Posted in bicycles, Happiness or not, London, Struggling | 6 Comments

Eat me a feeling

My best friend jokes that it’s a good thing I knew I was supposed to have nipples or I would have picked mine off by now; I understand insecurity. – A Lady (“one of several rotating ladies who know everything”, … Continue reading

Posted in Happiness or not, Struggling | 10 Comments